Why I Tell Clients to Do Nothing for 90 Days After Receiving an Inheritance
When someone walks into my office shortly after receiving a significant inheritance, I often say something that surprises them: "Let's not make any decisions today."
It's not the advice they expect. Most people assume a financial planner will immediately want to talk numbers, strategies, and investment options. But over the years, I've come to believe that the single most valuable thing you can do when you suddenly come into money is... nothing. At least for a while.
Here's why.
The Statistics Are Sobering
Research from Edward Jones found that only one in four people receiving an inheritance feel prepared for the process – and nearly one in five feel anxious about it. A separate survey from New York Life found that just 42% of those expecting an inheritance feel comfortable managing the new wealth.
That's worth sitting with for a moment. The majority of people receiving significant money don't feel ready for it. And yet, many still rush into decisions within weeks of receiving their inheritance.
Grief Affects How We Think
Inheritance rarely arrives in a vacuum. It usually follows the death of someone we love – a parent, a grandparent, sometimes a spouse. And grief does strange things to our decision-making.
Psychologists describe something called "grief brain fog" – a state where concentration, memory, and rational thinking are genuinely impaired. It's not a weakness; it's biology. The stress of loss affects how we process information and weigh risks.
I've seen this play out in countless ways. Someone who would normally research a car purchase for weeks will impulsively buy a new vehicle within days of receiving their inheritance. Others feel pressure to "do something productive" with the money immediately, as if letting it sit in a savings account for a few months is somehow wasteful.
It isn't.
What I've Observed With Clients Who Rush
Over the years, I've noticed patterns among clients who make major financial decisions within the first few weeks of receiving an inheritance.
Some pour money into their mortgage without considering whether that was the best use of the funds, or how it might affect their relationship property situation. Others gift large sums to family members, only to later realise they've created awkward dynamics or put their own retirement at risk. A few have invested in opportunities brought to them by well-meaning friends or relatives – investments that looked promising in the moment but weren't right for their circumstances.
The common thread isn't that these were bad people making irresponsible choices. It's that they were grieving people making permanent decisions during a temporary state.
What I've Observed With Clients Who Wait
The clients who give themselves breathing room tend to arrive at very different outcomes.
After three months – sometimes longer – they often have a clearer sense of what they actually want. The initial urge to renovate the kitchen or book an extravagant holiday has either settled into a genuine priority or faded entirely. They've had time to consider their broader financial picture and how this inheritance fits within it.
Perhaps most importantly, they've moved through the most acute phase of grief. They're still processing, of course – that doesn't stop at 90 days – but they're better equipped to think about the future.
One thing I've noticed is that clients who wait are more likely to honour the legacy of the person who left them the money. Not because they feel obligated to, but because they've had time to reflect on what that person might have wanted for them.
What "Doing Nothing" Actually Looks Like
When I suggest doing nothing, I don't mean ignoring the money entirely. There are a few practical steps that make sense early on.
Parking the funds somewhere safe is a good start. A dedicated savings account, separate from your everyday banking, keeps the money accessible while you take stock. If the inheritance involves shares, property, or other assets, it's worth understanding what you've inherited before making any decisions about whether to keep or sell.
In New Zealand, it's also worth being aware that inheritance is generally considered separate property under the Property (Relationships) Act 1976 – but that status can change if the money is mixed with relationship assets. This is something to think carefully about, ideally with legal advice, before you act.
Beyond that, the 90-day period is simply about giving yourself permission to grieve, to adjust, and to let the dust settle.
Why 90 Days?
There's nothing magic about the number. Some people need longer. A few might feel ready sooner. But three months seems to be roughly the point where most clients move from reactive to reflective thinking.
It's also long enough to break the cycle of well-meaning pressure that often surrounds a new inheritance. Family members with opinions, friends with investment tips, and that persistent voice in your head suggesting you should be "doing something" – all of these tend to quiet down after the first few months.
Giving Yourself Permission
Receiving an inheritance can feel like a test. There's often an unspoken expectation that you should handle it wisely, honour the person who left it to you, and make decisions that would make them proud.
That's a lot of pressure to carry while you're grieving.
What I've come to believe, after working with many clients in this situation, is that the most respectful thing you can do with an inheritance is to take your time with it. The money will still be there in three months. The opportunities to invest, pay down debt, or make meaningful purchases aren't going anywhere.
But your clarity of mind? That's worth waiting for.
Jeshal Patel
Certified Financial Planner
Disclaimer
This article is general information, does not consider your financial situation or goals, and does not constitute personalised advice. There are no warranties, expressed or implied, regarding the accuracy or completeness of any information included as part of this article.